Could you find your way if you were given a piece of paper with a line on it and a little north symbol? Public Transport Victoria and Yarra Trams think you can.

Coming on the 1st of May, Melbourne’s new tram ‘map’ sans wayfinding:

New tram map

This is a cropped section of the south east.

Tell me, using the new map, at what two streets do the route 6 and the route 78 intersect?

The old map can tell you that:

Old Tram Map

Tell me, what two tram routes run on Dandenong Road?

New tram map

The old map can tell you that.

Tell me, what’s the name of the big trunk that most of the tram routes in this section branch off?

New tram map

The old map can tell you that.

You probably take my point, the map is about as map-like as spaghetti on the floor, but why? Was the graphic designer given free rein, allowed to make a work of art rather than something that’s actually useful to the public?

I made contact with Yarra Trams to tell them that their new map is useless and received a reply of the same.

Thank you for contacting Yarra Trams regarding the new network map.

Yarra Trams appreciates the time you have taken to provide us with your feedback.

The new map is part of a suite of new information that will be released in the lead up to the network and timetable changes on 1 May 2017. For further updates please visit

All feedback is recorded and considered in future network information updates.”

Looks like I’m going to have to travel the trams with a fine-point black marker from the 1st of May. Anyone want to come with me?

Postscript: The new map has been altered today to include some extra street names in the route descriptions, but not on the map itself.